It becomes a hot trend to overload me with informational trash, selling the point of isolating your beloved(mostly children) from the environment. Please don’t. I still won’t buy it. Here’s why.
In our first years we’re truly flexible about everything – kids minds and bodies accomodate and heal virtually anything. While when we’re mature enough, it’s tough even to quit a habit. Rebuilding thy body becomes no-no-no.
So shelled by yourself from the first day, they accomodate to your presence. And eventually you’ll have to quit ther lives, leaving them both unprepared and no longer flexible.
Life truly excels in expanding its boundaries. Your young one will either eat the environment, or it will you. I guess picking an option allowing you both to do same thing side by side also gives you benefit of socializing while biting into the world, not each other ;)
Life is all about the environment
Finally, life is all about us joining back with the rest of the world, all of its reasures and challanges. Mature shells tend to contract, thus limiting the view of the younger ones when shelling them.
We’re done with abstract stuff, let’s iterate over particulars:
- Maternity hospitals in Ukraine are scary, but we’ll born there
- Leaving your child is scary, but we’ll embrace the traveler
- Eating common junk food is dangerous, but we’ll accomodate that in small does
- Collaborating with unmotivated kids/teachers in school is wild, but we’ll practice socializing from the very beginning
- Not being a control freak is a touch thing, but we’ll play that game – let them choice and make that into life ;)
Nothing endures but change.
Roles, commitments and responsibilities are basic building blocks of our society. They help us to build largely stable structures(e.g. IBM) on the quicksand of ever changing minds. Basically there are two roles in this interplay model: you shape a structure, you fit a one.
You’ll be easily accepted by a structure, if you’re a fit. There are lots of knowledge on how to fit better(e.g. bazzillions of articles describing how to write a decent CV). The question is: “Should we do that right now?”. Fitting the family structure was perfectly required for survival back in my childhood days, right now I am the support for my parents, but still live their idea of having a stable job and scoring as much as possible on this “Tree, house, son, …” ruler of success. What’s the deal here? I buy some safety with this tension to fit.
It’s helpful to remember here is that safety – only perceived thing. At some point everyone of us will be dead – is there any way to be safe from that? If everything be lost, apart yourself – so why don’t make this a journey about constitutes yourself?
From sales perspective not fitting is actually a win. If your role / behaviour is a commodity – price will always go down to have you on board. What differs you is the very thing which will help you to sell high.
Fit vs shape
Just both. Let’s discover.
One of the differentiating moments about participating 5am club is that you have more time. Those distinguished precious moments, when the whole world is just yours. It’s all yours, there’s no stuff to distract you and… it may be boring – there’s nothing to kill time with. God spent a whole week filling in emptieness and now I feel pretty much the same about my mornings :)
So my 5am ‘creation day one’ thing is to introduce exercising on a gymnastic bar(I should have installed that 5 years ago). I like the warmth in my muscules and ready to do some learning now.
Was reading an article about a girl which is under palliative care now. She’s leading a number of social initiatives and lives full, inspiring life. The article had a number of great pieces to cherry pick into your life strategy.
Accept where are you now
‘I won’t be cured’- she says.
Break boundaries, not create them
She says she’s not different from others. Maybe, she won’t make it to 40, or even 29 – any of us can suffer from bad luck or a quick brick – we’re all the same in this uncertainty.
Do what you really want
“I’m not afraid of the future, I’m afraid to stop living the full life I live now” – she continues.
It was so deep that I’ve though: “What if instead of trying to prolong our lives, we’ll restrict those? If everyone will live like that – the world will be a great place actually”.
For years I went to work and I’ve expected to get a pay check just in time. I have the clearest feedback loop built in this parlance: be more –> do more –> get more.
There’s other type of things. Things, which have no obvious returns as never were invested enough. Some have convenient communities built around those and still not exercised that alot. Think about eating more vegetables, exercising more, reading unusual literature, expanding our network, leading new kinds of activities for people around, building positive mental models.
Returns are unclear(and may be profound), there is high risk of wasting your time – sounds pretty much like a Venture Capitalism with the money being the capital invested. I find this a particularly interesting model to help myself install new habits.
So what do we do with investments?
- We track them
- We protect them as needed
- We invest more to earn more
So starting from just now, I’ll maintain a new spreadsheet, ‘Time invested’ reviewed daily. Should be fun enough game to play.
Get your ass off the couch and join me in investing :)
Experimental from the ground up, this event is quite unusual landmark on Ukrainian IT scene.
Imagine 50+ IT dudes networking simultaneously at the beginning:
Later on continued with a series of Lightning Talks – we’re not on schedule, but people are happy and engaged. “Troll me, please” – the speakers request.
What do we do with engaged audience in Ukraine? We make them vote! We’ve picked a technology area to evaluate in groups and done a quick research on that.
Lights out! For real :) But that’s still not a problem. I love it.
SEO piece: Java networking, networking java, networking. When you are a Java and you do a networking – join us. Beware! We do networking without any sockets here ;)
I imagine networking taken to a different level next time: a few technologies picked, leads are chosen and teams do work remotely for a while to reconnect at the event and share the findings and embrace each other in a real world now.
To organizers: two weeks passed since the event, and I’m still inspired – thank you. Please-please-please! Let’s do that again?
[ More photos ] [ Event page ]
Yeah, it’s hard to say “I perceive you as a piece of misbehaving sh*t”. Why? Personally I was afraid of the following outcomes:
My recent experience suggests that there are better ways to waste time compared to pretending you’re in an open relationship :) Also I had a whole bunch of cool cases where negative but sincere feedback led to imroved relationship.
Harm someone weak
In particular I was afraid of a thing asked by my girlfriend recently, “Have you ever though about self-esteemof people you’re giving feedback to?”, implying our recent quarrel. There’s a reasonating question in my head here: “Can I be responsible for people not moving forward with tricky things because of my feedback?”.
Now I’m not. As I pereceive all kinds of scary things regarding my idea to go into Sales, and I’m still on board ;)
Whenever a person is really into something – they’ll do that regardless of your feedback.
You’re now two fears lighter person ;)
Today I’ve rediscovered the value of getting up early. It’s a whole new world belonging to just me, my values and goals. I did just as Robin Sharma in his recent video suggested 20-20-20 and it was awesome:
- 20 mins exercise – to repel drowsiness and get some dopamine
- 20 mins plan – to get yourself out of reactive cycle, recall all the things you value and act accordingly
- 20 mins learn something new
I love the mornings ^_^ Join the club ;)
I’m evaluating platform options for a project I’d like kick off, which is about connecting people willing to learn from and teach to each other.
+ Web = Mobile through a Bootstrap, etc
+ Web = Faster publish = More feedback and shorter iteration cycle
– Web = Tricky Push Notifications on Mobile platform :( [ although, possible: APNs, GCM – tied to their auth]
? Anything else ?
Update: as usual, I went the techy route without considering the idea outside out of automation fallacy.
- There are 2 commonly expressed pain points active individuals do encounter. My idea is to connect them both, so that their pains will be fixed
- Pain1: reach out to a specialist to learn / ask
- Pain2: share your timeslot with someone interested
- Existing solution: ask friends(virtual/real)
- Problems with that: usually up to 2nd/3rd degree network only, not realtime
- Me and @apofig like the thing
- I thought about posting a Google Doc where people could add themselves, but that is somewhat not engaging :(
- So let’s try asking people on my network directly!