Kind kind of manipulation

I’m a kind kind of manipulator – I love leaving people excited. Join in!

Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the perception or behavior of others through underhanded, deceptive, or even abusive tactics. By advancing the interests of the manipulator, often at another’s expense, such methods could be considered exploitative, abusive, devious, and deceptive. Social influence is not necessarily negative. For example, doctors can try to persuade patients to change unhealthy habits. Social influence is generally perceived to be harmless when it respects the right of the influenced to accept or reject and is not unduly coercive. Depending on the context and motivations, social influence may constitute underhanded manipulation. (c) Wiki

I always thought manipulation is something which is based on 3 conditions:

  • A person(victim), who fears something and has something of interest to another one(manipulator)
  • The manipulator is aware of the fear(often unconsciously)
  • The victim is likely to trade the something to omit exposure to the fear

E.g. “If you’d like to dig a hole there – please feel free to continue on picking your nose”, “Either me, or cigarettes”, …

Wikipedia has a broader definition(which fits basically any conversation) and that was something which popped up during a chat recently – I love seeing people emotionally charged and willing to rush into action, so don’t mind fostering that in an easy ways.

So, how can we do that?

Break the context

Feelings and emotions are easy come easy go things – they’re gone in a matter of minutes. Mood states, on contrary, are things which people indulge in for weeks. So to clean up some place for the inspiration, we need to put off the mess out of the brains.

The easiest way to do this – by surprise. For example in Kiev(which is rather far from the sea) any reference to herring in context of dating is something not usually expected achieving just the desired effect almost every time it’s mentioned.


Remind of the childhood

Once the brain has some spare place to accept something pleasant about the world around, we need to tune the perception. I think, I won’t be wrong to state that the most open people are actually kids – they’re curious just about everything.

So try to reach out to some pleasant experiences from the childhood – that may bring the target closer to the desired state of mind.


Choose your own battle field

Sometimes, you won’t be able to influence the person that easy because of a greater impact of the environment – feel free to change that. E.g. someone thrashing at the office can be easily fixed at a fishing market : ) The simplest way is to have a coffee(some weird beverage) somewhere else.

Timing can be as much important as the decorations, so don’t hesitate to put the experiment off to a yet another day.





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  1. Pingback: Practical networking #1: learn to bloody introduce yourself | A spot of consciousness

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